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March 28th, 2020
General News

Ever heard the saying ‘You can get older, without getting old?’

Ever heard the saying ‘You can get older, without getting old?’  The first time I heard this quote it definitely resonated with me.

I may be 46 now and my body gets tired more easily and is showing all those irritating signs of ageing, like the wrinkles and grey hair, but inside I still feel like a child.  If a task calls for a responsible adult I still look around for one.

Anyone else with me?

I still blush like I did when I was a teenager (really annoying).

And I still wish my mum was here to offer me advice and make me lovely, comfort food when I feel unwell. I don’t think that one will ever go away.

I only revert to sensible adult when it’s absolutely necessary.  I am still very much in touch with my Inner Child.  The part of me that remembers what it was like to have fun and embrace new experiences. The carefree side that wasn’t weighed down by adult responsibilities.  And this helps me cope when life gets tough.

In reality I am often a stressed out mum to two awesome but very demanding boys. One is 14 and one is 10. My 14 year old has autism and needs the constant supervision that you would normally associate with a nursery child.

My mind often craves a break when it’s physically not possible to remove myself from a situation.  Escaping to my inner child has been my coping strategy.  It’s the part that allows me to mentally escape from my responsibilities and become a carefree child again.  The part that likes having fun.

To give you an example of what I mean it’s the part of you that loves going down the children’s slide at the park or play centre. Or the part that enjoys making sandcastles on the beach and sticking flags in.  Anything that reawakens your childhood self.

A few months ago I entered a competition with a local photographer to win a white sheet shoot.  I looked at the ladies in the photos and loved the carefree, playfulness of the photos.  I just knew that I had to have a photo that showed my wicked, carefree side.  A constant reminder when life gets difficult.  A photo that reflects the part of me that sends my friends memes to make them laugh or the part that invented a holiday dance for me and my 10 year old to do every time we book a holiday (he’s getting tired of this now, especially when I get him to do it at the airport).

So yesterday, I found myself in the beautiful setting of St. Denis’s Chapel in Harewood End. Lying on a bed, wearing nothing but a silk sheet (I was well covered, it wasn’t that kind of shoot) staring up at the most amazing ceiling and for a moment I was transported back to my teenage self. The girl who fantasised about being rescued by a handsome prince and taken to live in his romantic castle (don’t judge me!).  And I felt like a carefree young girl again and it felt incredible.

An hour later I was racing back down the A449, back to the school run and the reality of what to make for tea.  Back to reality.

You may think from reading this that I’m dissatisfied with my life.  You’d be wrong.  I’ve very grateful for all that I have.  It’s just sometimes nice to escape.

Today, I’ve woken up feeling so much lighter for my experience.  I recommend that everyone takes time out now and again to embrace their inner child.  Whether it’s fantasising that you live in a romantic castle (my fantasy every time I pass Castell Coch) or you dream of driving a racing car like Lewis Hamilton.

Just do it!  As my dad often says ‘Life is not a dress rehearsal’.

Do things that make you happy.

You deserve it!

Rachael Barnes, Confidence and Self-Worth Coach

Helping Women feel more Confident. Find out about my 6 week coaching packages here.

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